Where the heart goes, follow!
by Fran Turner

I felt acutely that I had to help Sara address this secret yearning.

When my friend Sara told me that dancing was what, in her heart, she wanted to do, I was astonished. Astonished, because nothing that I had seen in her life spoke of this love that she apparently nurtured. Sara was a capable woman who held a demanding job, and daily she trained at the gym, pumping weights and working the machines. I don't recall that she ever attended dance performances. I felt sad, because she spoke about wanting to dance with such longing. The pain I experienced at her confession was partly explained by the fact dance had drawn me too. I understood something of the marvel of using the body skillfully for artistic expression — something she hadn't even given herself a chance to experience.

Shortly after my friend's confession, I connected her with a dance acquaintance of mine. I felt acutely that I had to help Sara address this secret yearning. After she attended one or two classes, she resumed her regular daily pattern of attending the gym in her free time.

Not all the heart's inclinations should necessarily be acted upon, but by far, the majority are healthy.

I learned at least two things from this. The first was that if someone says she has a dream, it is up to her to make the effort. But an even bigger lesson that confronted me was the extent to which it disturbed me that my friend chose not to act on her dream. Not all the heart's inclinations should necessarily be acted upon, but by far, the majority are healthy and, I believe, are profound urgings to fulfill ourselves. Sara could have taken dance classes for enjoyment, she could have read dance magazines, or attended dance performances, but she did none of these things.

Several years ago, I read a journal that I kept while I lived in Washington, D.C. After a seminar I had attended at New York Aikikai that was taught by Waka Sensei, I wrote how deeply I loved aikido and how I wanted to do more of it, to make it a bigger part of my life. Fifteen years later, my life is different and aikido is certainly a major part of it. I know how gratifying it is to put effort in the direction where the heart leans. It isn't a question of success, but of following the heart with faith, curiosity and determination.

Just before I left my last nursing job to pursue a shiatsu practice, I was surprised at the reaction of many of my co-workers. Some expressed regret that they were unable to take a similar risk. One said, "If only I didn't have a family to support, I'd do something different..." "If only I didn't need the security of this job..." echoes the others. Unfortunately, in the past ten years, many hospital employees have discovered their security was not secure. I'm sure a number of them have lost their jobs as our health care system has been downsized.

Most often, urgings of the heart do not put anyone in peril, although they indeed create a sense of risk, of doing something you have not dreamt of doing. Or, more accurately, the risk of doing what you have only dreamt of doing.

Aikido practice fortifies us to take risks both on and off the mat. We learn to extend our perceived boundaries beyond the familiar and comfortable. Perhaps aikido helps us become more courageous and to use our courage prudently. If your heart urges you to play music, try it, take lessons. If you are not in a position to take lessons, listen to music, go to concerts, create little openings where you follow this inclination. And keep practicing! As frequently as your life allows. Aikido opens your heart to others, to your own self.


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