Searching for Balance
by Bethune Whiston
As 1988 was ending, an illness brought me up short, forcing me to begin a journey inside myself, a search for a healthier lifestyle. I was looking for the kind exercise that wouldn't be the first thing to be crossed off my "to-do" list if I was too busy or too tired. One day, I looked in the Yellow Pages, and there it was — Rita Ridaz Dance Academy. A few weeks later, after some introductory classes, I signed my first contract for 40 hours of instruction. I had fallen for dance — hard.
I embraced dance with all my energy and passion. I was at the studio every day of the week
but Sunday. For over two years, I took ten hours of classes a week and then went out after
class—dancing for fun! My old friends rarely were able to make plans with me because
I was unavailable to do anything else but dance. Many bruised toes, competitions, partners and
thousands of dollars later, I now call myself a dancer. I still love it. Most weeks I still show up for
a couple of lessons and spend at least one evening dancing. Fortunately, I suppose, I no longer
feel compelled to dance every day. Now I have time in my life for activities other than dance and
for people other than dancers.
In the dead of winter, January 1995, I took my first aikido class. Starting aikido was not exactly my idea — I was under pressure from a good friend who himself quit after just a few classes. I held aikido at arm's length, cautiously attending one or two classes a week, suspiciously agreeing to take part in some fundraising activities. Other activities I have taken up post-dance-craze — yoga, singing, etc. — I have also embraced gingerly.
Despite my attempts to keep aikido at bay, however, I passed my 6th kyu test in December, 1995, and am halfway through the requisite hours for the next test. At the beginning of every class, I thank God for having brought me here, and by the end of the class I truly feel grateful. The people at this dojo have much to teach me. I am better able to recognize some of my shortcomings in the way I react to working with different people or to their advice on how to do the move the "right way". As with dance, I recognize that everyone brings to aikido their own special style.
I now consider balance to be one of my highest goals; one of the best ways to achieve a healthy lifestyle. Still, sometimes I wish that aikido would seduce me the way dance had. Perhaps aikido will remain for me an activity that I can only assimilate slowly. I will accept whatever place it takes in my life. I believe that there is good to come from practicing its tenets, even on an infrequent basis. And I believe there is a lot to lose by taking the attitude that unless I grant an activity all my spare time it will not be a valuable influence in my life.
I don't know if I will ever be able to call myself an aikidoist. I don't even know what the proper term is... but I do know that when I enter the dojo, for the hour or two that I am practicing, I do it with all my heart.
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