Challenges of Practice
by Monica Chang
Amidst winter flu, house renovations, work rampage, and chaos, my aikido attendance has been a rarity. My challenge has been one of scheduling. No matter what, a long phone call or another emergency at work stops me from getting to the dojo at noon. In the evening, the adjective "zonked" would describe me well.
I guess this is what self-discipline is all about. When I do go to class now, I can tell my ukemi is severely lacking in finesse. Watching the dedicated aikidoists gives me some encouragement. I know it's been too long when halfway through class, I start watching the clock with alternating thoughts of "I'm not going to make it" and "I'm going to make it." Then come those two long- awaited words, "Stretch out!" Yes! I made it after all!
One of the things I welcome is the camaraderie before class starts and the kidding around that goes on. It's a beautiful and wonderful feeling to see the familiar smiling faces, knowing that this is a place that welcomes me. I feel extremely fortunate to have found a place where those around me give me a warm and fuzzy feeling.
The challenges are daily: a demanding boss who calls me at home and who thinks that my yearning for challenges includes just more paperwork on my desk; a body that does not want to cooperate; and about a dozen other things that demand my attention. (What are they? Don't ask. 20% of God knows what takes up 80% of my time.)
Although the act of going to the dojo and doing aikido is sometimes a struggle, I know that at the end of the class, I stand taller, stronger, more confident and feel more positive about myself and the world around me. When I say "thank you" at the end of class to sensei and to everyone else, it is not just words that I utter, but a strong feeling of appreciation from the bottom of my heart.
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